As a young woman in the prime of my life, I thought I had it all figured out—graduate from university with flying colors, land a well-paying job, and marry by 27. Marriage was the cornerstone of my dreams. However, life had other plans, twisting my expectations and rewriting my narrative in ways I could never have anticipated.
By the time I turned 30, the pressure to settle down felt overwhelming. Despite being financially stable and thriving in my career, the expectations from family weighed heavily on my shoulders. The relentless comparisons to peers who had married and started families pushed me to a breaking point. I found myself grappling with thoughts of settling for just anyone who showed interest—an alarming low in my journey. Fortunately, a colleague stepped in to remind me that marriage should not be my ultimate aspiration and certainly shouldn’t be rushed.
Regrettably, these experiences are all too common for many women.
Marriage, particularly in many African societies, is deeply entrenched in cultural values. It serves as a foundational pillar for the family structure, facilitating procreation and contributing to the growth of family trees, while helping to strengthen communal ties. Individuals often feel a collective responsibility to uphold these traditions, whereby personal choices become subsumed under societal norms.
An Akan adage states, “Marriage is a woman’s crown of glory.” Indeed, in many African cultures, marriage is synonymous with honor, bestowing dignity not only upon the bride but also her family. Religious institutions further reinforce the sanctity of marriage, creating an environment where it is perceived as the ultimate achievement for women. Until a woman marries, her accomplishments can seem trivial to society—a notion that is both reductive and damaging.
This reality should compel us to question why marriage has become the yardstick for measuring a woman’s success. Every woman deserves the autonomy to decide when—or even if—she wishes to marry.
Despite our modern advancements, the societal pressure on women to marry early remains a troubling reality. Women who are viewed as having exceeded their “marriageable age” often face social stigma and derogatory labels. This pressure can suffocate personal aspirations, leading many young women to abandon their dreams in favor of conforming to societal expectations. Sadly, this often results in deep-seated regrets about lost opportunities and unfulfilled potential.
In a contemporary world where women are breaking barriers, pursuing ambitious goals, and achieving remarkable feats, the focus should shift from early marriages to empowering these individuals through education and skills development. The future of empowerment lies in creating an environment where women are not only financially independent but also confident enough to make choices that serve their personal aspirations.
It is imperative that society recognizes that marriage is just one of many important milestones in a woman’s life. We should strive for a paradigm shift where women are granted the liberty to choose their marital paths without the looming societal pressure to conform to an ideal timeline. Normalizing late marriages is essential in this journey toward liberation.
To address the societal emphasis on marriage over educational and professional advancement for women, a multifaceted strategy is required. This strategy should encompass education, advocacy, community engagement, and policy reform.
Educational initiatives can help raise awareness about the diverse paths women can take in life, while advocacy can challenge prevailing stereotypes and enable conversations about women’s rights and choices.
Community engagement can foster supportive environments that share stories of successful women who have chosen to prioritize their careers or education over early marriages. Policy reforms aimed at creating equal opportunities will ensure that women have access to the resources they need to thrive professionally and personally.
By integrating these strategies, we can work toward a cultural shift that values women’s education and career advancement alongside marriage, ultimately fostering an environment where women can flourish in all areas of their lives. It’s time we reshape the narrative, allowing women to define their own versions of success— beyond the confines of marriage.